The race to get to the bridge is brilliantly tense. I loved the sense of urgency in this story.Tension ratchets up beautifully in this visceral story, where a character’s desperate longing creates a fatal maelstrom of events.
I would personally leave out the final scene and use the required phrase elsewhere the story has already been told the ending is clear. Certainty that the character is more than capable of negotiating this journey and deserves to be rewarded by completing her simple yet compelling quest, is suddenly upended by hubris. It is the commonplace nature of this desperation that makes the story less ‘original’ but equally so appealing. The reader connects with the character and the commonplace moments and emotions that she feels the quiet desperation that drives her. Very well-paced sense of urgency from the outset that holds the readers’ attention.
I would have liked a touch more physcial description of the sunhat lady at the beginning of the story to get a clearer mental picture, but on the whole the descriptions are excellent. The story was original and very well told, with a wonderful ending. I especially enjoyed the modern-day incarnations of the women, which reminded me a little of the characters in American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Vivid, lyrical storytelling that paints some beautiful images and has a strong sense of mood and atmosphere.Vivid and potent imagery combine in this clever and intriguing tale of powerful opposing forces, with compelling and competing points of view.If I could give a 6/5 for my gut response, I would. This story ticks all the literacy merits, is mechanically well written and edited, and then insisted on dragging in my emotional baggage to leave me wanting more. Like all judges, I read stories with the aim of assessing them purely on their literacy merits using the marking criteria, parking any emotional baggage or personal genre preferences I might bring to one side. Pretty hard to impress me to the point where I have so little to say, other than this almost drove me to tears.
SHORT STORY WRITING CHALLENGE FREE
0 kommentar(er)
